Why You Will Marry Your Parents and What To Do About It Part 1

You know that annoying thing older people tend to say: “You can’t help but marry your mother/father”? Turns out, it’s science. As a byproduct of surviving childhood but never being fully satisfied by our upbringing, our unconscious brain (also called the old brain) is forever attempting to recreate our childhood conditions in an effort to correct whatever left us wanting. Remember the stars of our childhood? You guessed it: mom and dad! With some guest appearances from siblings, nannies, aunts/uncles, neighbors, and teachers. In their book “Getting the Love You Want,” Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen Lakelly Hunt, PhD detail what they call our “unfinished business” and our unconscious search for the mate that will right the wrongs of our …


Emotional Loneliness + The Holidays

I’d like to propose the hyper-awareness of singleness during the holidays actually has nothing to do with wanting a romantic partner and everything to do with the odd loneliness that often accompanies longer periods of time with family. Tonight I am in the throes of loneliness, and for all logical reasons, I have no business being lonely. On a day off from a rather stressful workload, I spent an entire day with family members who love me and know me better than most. We ate, drank, and there were even dogs involved. What makes loneliness more poignant during the holidays is exactly because we are around people who are supposed to know us best, and often it feels like they …


7 Reasons Why Shotgun Dating Will Lead You To The Love Of Your Life

I know — of all phrases to coin, “shotgun dating” probably doesn’t sound the most appealing. This phrase was coined by my stepfather Jim Carroll, founder of “Marriage Boot Camp” and a true Texan to the core. After two failed marriages, Jim was determined to “shotgun date” meaning, date anyone and everyone without committing to exclusivity until enough data had been collected. He learned a few valuable lessons along the way that ultimately led him to the love his of life, my mother Elizabeth Carroll. 1. Dates are research. Thank goodness! Isn’t that a relief? Dates are research. We are researching what’s actually out there, which of our expectations need to be augmented, which expectations we need to make more …