Healing from Heartbreak, Betrayal, and Loving the Lonely

Have you ever done something stupid out of loneliness? Spent way too much money on clothes or food, drank too much, abused a substance, kissed a random? I have. The typical aftermath? Shame.hangover. In the midst of a shame hangover, when my inner voice is screaming, “Darn it, Ilsa,” these are the things I preach to myself: There is total compassion for whatever happened. For whatever reason, we needed to experience and learn from that thing we did in response to our loneliness. Trust me – there’s always a lesson. I will not succumb to the lie of shame that bubbles up in an effort to keep me isolated and small. I will reach out to people who love me, …


How To Get Over Them

The title of this blog has probably been googled a millions times. (I, too, am a contributor) One thing stands out amidst the search options: there are VERY few helpful things on in the internet. The truth is, there isn’t really a “How To” on this one, just like there isn’t really a “How To Grieve.” BUT I’ve discovered a helpful guidepost in regards to MOVING THE EFF ON. When we first fall for someone, the hormones create quite the emotional event. The dating app culture of our generation is to burn hot for like, two weeks, and then get ghosted. It’s the worst. In an effort to be “mature” and “diplomatic”, MANY of our well-meaning friends, encourage us to …